Society’s ideals are forged in the family, and you are their creator. Here’s what you need to know!
OUR SOCIETY CANNOT IMPROVE if its individual citizens choose not to. For decades now, we have built an excuse-oriented society, with each layer providing a platform for the next justification as we slide away from accountability.
Look around, friend and observe how parents refuse to tolerate a failing grade. Rather than accepting that the responsibility likely falls on their child’s performance, they blame the teacher. When accidents happen, the tendency is to sue, because the fault couldn’t be an individual’s clumsiness – it has to be the fault of the architect, the contractor, the floor-sweeper, or someone, anyone else.
The consequences of this way of acting should be obvious. Individuals who demand that someone else accept responsibility for their actions put society at risk. As grim as this may be, and as much pressure as the question “What can we do about it?” might bring, realise that the opposite is also true.
RESPONSIBILITY IS THE WAY FORWARD
Society is strengthened by individuals who accept responsibility and engage in responsible behaviour. The way forward, friend, for all of us, you and me, is to accept accountability in all transactions and relationships.
To begin this process of renewal, to restore the pillars of a stable society, we need to take a few steps. These steps always start with one individual, and continue with several, then communities, organisations, and companies. This is not a complicated principle; it just requires hard work. And it begins with you, one step at a time. Restoring integrity in our world will require individual champions to lead the way, friend. If you are a man with fire in your heart, I invite you to become such a champion.
Depending on where you are on your life’s path, you can, if you will, strengthen integrity-centred leadership and refuse to accept anything less from all of your interactions, relationships and roles.
To start right, we have to analyse the roles each of us can take in life, roles that create a difference in our society and we have to define the corresponding, appropriate and effective behaviour for them.
The role of a parent – The impact of a family
The first role, the one that should provide unconditional love and acceptance, while nurturing socially responsible values, is the role of a parent and your role as a father. From birth, a child grasps the fact of his existence by relating with his parents and eventually the family.
Children learn that their sounds bring a hug, food, clothes, that a smile brings encouragement from parents. Throughout childhood, they learn a lot from the behaviour of their parents, of their father and mother. Both of them have a great responsibility and opportunity to shape their character, by teaching acceptance, unconditional love, cause and effect, discipline and consistency.
The child’s character is moulded as he learns the value of truth, of authority, of fulfilling obligations, of reciprocity. He learns that rewards go hand in hand with performance. He learns that failure is unpleasant and comes to understand generosity, respect, and awareness of others’ rights.
As A Father you are always on the watch
If you are a father, friend, you need to understand that you are always “onstage” to one degree or another, for your children. Your actions and behaviours are demonstrating to them the art of life and living.
Become aware of everything you say, the manner in which you say it, everything that you do and the competence with which you do it. If you do this, I promise you that you will be effective in your integrity-centred parenting. One day, your children will thrive because of it and if we all take this role seriously, so will our society.
Here are a few points on how to achieve this:
How to do it?
As a husband, speak to your wife with respect and never be shy to show your love and affection for her. A whispered kindness between a mother and father, an act of love and care, when witnessed by your young ones, will bring reassurance and comfort. Do your best to look for opportunities to help your wife with whatever her challenges are. You will teach your children to do the same.
By being punctual, you will teach responsibility and commitment, together with the value of time. You will teach them how to do things properly when you help them learn from their mistakes and when you recognise them for their achievements.
Teach your young ones about another form of integrity, friend, when you speak well to and of your neighbours and when you decline to spread gossip. Let your actions in the world also teach respect for the law, for rules and discipline, for the well-being of others.
And allow your children to observe the value of continuous education, when their young eyes and ears observe you enjoying a good book, or when discussions at the dinner table focus on important ideas and events.
You are SHAPING society
We know so well the effects of the other side, friend, the abusive parent, the lazy bastard, the constant critic, the one who gossips, the slob, and we can see that kind of impact in the world more and more. Understand that just as you can teach honesty, fairness, responsibility and build a great character in your children, you can also teach deceit, deception, lack of accountability and encourage bad behaviour.
Without the keystone of integrity existing within the family, the structures of society are at risk. Instead of success stories of great communities, incredible achievements and service to others, we will have stories of divorces, drug abuse, treachery, selfishness and false accomplishments.
If a better society is to be built, the focus must be on what can be done better, starting first with the family, and that means starting with YOU. A monumental task, especially if you had the misfortune to come from a family that was not in line with the ideas of trust, character and integrity.
Dare, friend, to challenge the way you act as a father and dare to intentionally embrace integrity so that the next generation of young men and women can proudly say that the role models that they saw at home inspired them to build a better world together.
Are you strong enough to embrace this challenge?
Your choice will impact everyone around you!
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