Welcome once again, friend. Glad to have you reading this email. Let us challenge ourselves today with a fantasy that people shoved down our throats in the last few decades. A fantasy that keeps you undecided, wasting your potential on what-ifs.

In our modern times, when people only praise good intentions, you have the luxury to dream without worrying about tomorrow. Family, friends, and even strangers “grant” you limitless possibilities, left and right. With statements like “Follow your dreams”, “You are the best”, and “The sky is the limit”, you feel extraordinary, invincible, and special.

And yet, you might have grown up to find yourself paralysed and unmotivated. You wonder: if your possibilities are really endless, how will you ever decide which path to choose? What should you pursue in life? So many options overwhelm you with the promise that you could become anything. And you end up tired, hopeless, and confused in your search for meaning.

The reality, friend, is that nobody’s future, not yours, not mine, is limitless. Regardless, holding onto the feeling of endless possibilities, instead of going after a few of them, tempts you greatly. Even though this brings you anxiety and restlessness. If you wonder why you postpone action and still cling to the idea of limitless potential and possibilities, here’s something to think about.

In this fantasy, you may hesitate to choose any option because you fear closing down many other paths at once. Making one choice automatically means losing every other one. Picking one path in life seems boring and constraining. And you know that such a decision comes with planning and responsibility, which means effort. It is much easier to remain undecided and dreaming than to struggle and make something of yourself.

The fear of failure, friend, keeps you in the realm of possibilities. In this realm, you remain pure potential. Here, you avoid the risk of discovering you don’t have what it takes. It is easier to hold onto the myth of countless opportunities rather than to put your skin in the game and make a choice.

You fear getting stuck in something “ordinary” – something that doesn’t fit your dream of the life you think you deserve. That fear makes you hesitant about any choice that feels less than perfect.

You might want your life to be great, exciting, and adventurous, but somehow you may think that it will fall into place for you if you wait for the “right” moment. In reality, this will never happen. Life’s train will never come by to pick you up from your safe space.

Not choosing because you hope to avoid failure leads to a dead-end road. Believing you deserve special treatment from the Universe is an illusion. It blinds you to the fact that you are built just the same as everyone else. Nothing comes to you just because you are you. Your success or failure will not “just happen”. Your choices and actions – or their lack – will build it.

It feels scary to declare “My life is up to me”. That statement means there is no magic. Nothing is predestined for you. You can’t simply wait for something to happen.

Despite the pressure you feel when choosing, friend, the possibilities are not limitless as people made you believe. Your past experiences – already a couple of decades’ worth – have shaped you into who you are today. All these years have strengthened or weakened talents and abilities, values, and beliefs. They leave you with only a handful of paths your heart is truly drawn to.

Accept this fact and reduce your pool of choices to the ones you actually care about. Lift the pressure from yourself because a limited number of choices that you actually prefer is far better than infinity. Even in this handful of possibilities that you are left with, which actually suit your talents, abilities, values, and interests, there is probably one or two that nag you, regardless of how much you doubt yourself and push them to the side.

Have the courage to face reality. Leave that fantasy land of illusions and wishful thinking, and take your shot at life.

Keep in mind that not making a choice is also a choice. Although it might feel safer in the short term, the consequences of not choosing are just further away in time. Refuse yourself the option to not choose. Decide to pursue one path. Even if this action does close down other paths, it will also open up new ones that would never have been available if you remained undecided.

Choosing one path doesn’t mean that you are stuck with it forever. Every choice brings consequences, that is true, but learning new things and changing course in your life is much easier now than ever before in history. Keep in mind that every experience, even unpleasant ones, will build important skills within you which will probably serve you in some way down the line.

Seeing your life pursuits as right or wrong is the wrong way of looking at them. Some experiences are better for you than others, but all experiences, if you navigate them well and with the right attitude, can be for your own gain.

A choice is only wrong if you see life in a linear way, where each thing must lead directly and precisely to the next. Instead, try to see the point of life as gaining as many experiences as possible, learning and growing as much as you can, making a contribution wherever you are. Look at each path you pursue as the right one, at least for a while.

You should research the things that you are interested in pursuing as much as possible, but in many cases, friend, the only way of knowing is actually trying first. Even if not everything is clear to you, there will be moments in life where you need to throw yourself in and embrace the choice, even if uncertainties might tempt you to sit on the fence. In these moments, if you have the courage to choose and jump in, own your choice and squeeze out of it all of its worth. Planning is great, but you do not need a perfect plan to start.

Be someone who dares to embrace reality. Realise the intoxicating and anxiety-producing power of the belief that your options are limitless. Take advantage of your limits. Choose your path. Feel the confidence and security that comes from having your feet on the ground and own your life. Accept that uncertainty will always be present, but it is better to go from uncertainty to confidence, to uncertainty to confidence again, than to completely stand still in confusion, watching your life go by.

Drop the “what ifs”, friend, and define your core values. Understand what you really want in life and then focus on the choices that fit these parameters. Embrace discipline and commitment. Stick to your choices and see how your life will transform. Your reality will change from the endless delusion of the Neverland promises of happiness and limitless options to an existence in which you define how you live.

Are you brave enough to make choices and dictate how your life unfolds?

I DARE YOU TO BE!

Make a list of the 5 things you are most interested in, 5 things that you have gained knowledge of. 5 things at which you became relatively good at throughout the years. Make this list based on your actual interests and not based on how you wish to be perceived. Be honest with yourself.

Extract from this list the qualities and skills that made you efficient.

For qualities, think of “perseverance”, “discipline”, “willpower”, etc.

For skills, think of something applicable like “movement mechanics” and “good reaction times” if sports is your thing or “understanding microcontrollers” and “programming for advanced cybersecurity systems” if IT is your thing.

Use this to narrow the elements you focus on. This is obviously the first step, but it is an important one. A step that will move you from paralysis mode into action mode, by dragging your attention to what you can actually do and concentrating your focus on doing rather than dreaming.

If these ideas clicked with you, dive deeper into more insights like this by exploring our full newsletter archive or browsing the latest articles on our dedicated articles page!